Updated: Aug 4, 2020
By Charlotte Pointeaux, Certified Womxn's Life Coach, Sacred Circle Holder and author of Simply Sacred Self-Care
Spells, crystal balls, and howling at the moon, that’s what happens in circle, isn’t it?
If you’ve not been to one yet, you might have some curious ideas about what really goes on at a women’s circle, your imagination running amok thinking of wild women letting loose, conjuring up all kinds of magic. So if you’re curious, intrigued, but unsure, and a bit wary, then I’d love to bust some myths and clear up what it’s all about, because circles are joy, and you deserve to join one.
A brief history of circles
Women have come together to share stories, wisdom, support and encouragement in circle for thousands of years, before slowly our way was lost, eroded, hidden. Modern gatherings might look more like meetings in cafes, to sewing circles and mothers groups. But recently the women’s circle in its original sense has revived, it's coming back into the mainstream, and now you’ve got the chance to join us at your local monthly circle!
So, let’s get into it, let’s bust some myths and get to the heart of what circles are...
Myth 1: it’s full of scary witches and spooky psychics, a place where spells are cast and fortunes told 🧙♀️
Erm no. Circles are the place for anyone who identifies as female, full stop.
Our women’s circle is just for adult women, and my mother + daughter circle is for girls (10-17) and their mothers to share this beautiful experience together. Being inclusive and loving diversity we welcome everyone, including LGBTQIA+ and gender fluid people identifying as female.
Within that, sure, some women identify as being more in tune with their intuition, their spirituality, their empathic nature or even their witchiness, and that’s ok, we are all in a safe container of the circle to be ourselves. Yes we do burn a little incense, light candles, bring crystals, and we do carry out beautiful, heartfelt rituals to bring intention to our activities, but there are no spells, no psychic readings, no getting naked and howling at the moon! Just simple mindfulness, relaxation, maybe some yoga Nidra, music, maybe a little boogie (with eyes closed is great too if you're feeling unsure 👀). We talk, share, and hang out together.
Myth 2: Oh no, I’m going to be forced to bare my soul, aren’t I? Don’t make me!
Absolutely not. Our circle is about self-reflection, and we do hold a sharing circle where we hold space for each person to share their stories, their feelings, their day, or what they’re working through right now. To make sure this is a safe space full of trust, love and respect we set firm guidelines at the start of the night. We insist on one person speaking at a time whilst others listen, that we share and listen from the heart, and total confidentiality: what is shared stays in circle at all times.
However you are empowered to make your own choice about whether you do share, and how much you share. It’s your call. You are asked to share with discernment, that is, only share what feels right for you to share in that space, and nothing that you will regret sharing. This is about trusting yourself, and building trust and confidence in other women, our sisterhood. And this is a judgement-free zone too.
Myth 3: I’m not very sociable, I’m introverted, or I don’t get along well with women, so I won’t fit in.
Well this is YOUR space. If you’ve had a bad day, or aren’t feeling sociable or like coming, then you need to come even more! This space is your medicine.
Come as you are -how you feel in that exact moment is perfect. As women we cycle and one day we’ll be flying high, another day we’ll be feeling low and slow. And all of it is perfect. You’re enough just as you are! We are your village, you’ll find true, deep, soulful connection here, you’ll be accepted and supported wherever you’re at. In this safe, supported space you're able to learn to trust women again and find meaningful, heart-centred connection with like-minded souls.
Myth 4: It's like group therapy isn't it?
If you’re working through some deep issues personally then may I suggest that you seek professional guidance to address that - circle isn’t counselling. As a circle holder I hold powerful space for women to come together for a night of connection with other beautiful like-minded women, and me-time all rolled into one. But I’m not a trained therapist, even though we may reflect on our personal challenges and growth. So no, this is not therapy, even though it may be healing and transformative for some.
So what do we actually DO??
Every circle is different depending on the women present in our group, and we'll explore different themes each time, but the format will be the same. We start with a welcoming meditation to arrive together in the room, I lead you through a group practice around our theme, bringing reflection and insight into where we’re at that night, and we hold a sharing circle where we each are given space to speak inside the group - without judgement. This is where we learn to trust our own voices, the power of vulnerability, and connect deeply with each other. Friendships and transformations are born! We close with a lovely ritual of releasing what’s holding us back, and setting intentions for the new month ahead, and then we drink tea, eat chocolate, and have a good old natter. What can be better than that? 💕